A HUMAN-FACED BOIL

Nobita Sega woke up around three o’clock in the night. His left arm was itchy. He switched on the light and looked at the upper part of his arm. It was swollen and reddish. That was not a mosquito bite, he thought. It looked like a boil, as large as 500 yen coin. He touched it. It was feverish. He looked at it closely. It looked like a human face. It had two tiny stains horizontally lined in the middle of the boil. They looked like eyes. And there was a mouth-like dent under them.

   Nobita opened a medicine box and took out an ointment tube. Applying some ointment on the boil, he wondered why such a boil had formed in his arm. Was it because he had eaten a human-faced crab during the elementary school alumni dinner yesterday? While he was eating a crab, he found an eerie-looking crab shell.

   “Look, this looks like a human face, doesn’t it?” he said to his old friend, Kamei, showing the crab.

   “Oh, my, it’s a Heike-crab. You know the Heike clan, that was defeated by the Genji clan in the Dan-noura Battle. The shell shows the Heike’s grudge,” Kamei said.

   “Grudge?” Nobita said and was about to eat the crab.

   “Don’t eat it. It may curse you,” Kamei said.

   “I don’t believe in such nonsense,” Nobita said and ate it.

 

   The next morning, the boil looked much more like a human face than it had looked during the night. The two eye-like pits were darker and the mouth-like dent was deeper and larger. It looked as if it would soon be a hole. Nobita had heard about a human-faced fish, but never about a human-faced boil. Feeling uneasy, he quickly finished breakfast, applied some ointment again, and went to his company.

   He worked in the development division of an Internet-related company in Sakae, Nagoya. He got a job with them six years ago after graduating from university. He was short and fat, but was the captain of the Kendo team during his university days.

   The boil did not bother him until late afternoon, but around four o’clock he felt a sharp pain in his arm. He went to the rest room, rolled up his shirt sleeve, and looked at the boil. He was surprised and at the same time horrified. The black “eyes” were almond-shaped like those of Godzilla’s. They were glaring at Nobita. The mouth-looking dent had changed into a huge mouth that occupied the lower half of the boil. It seemed about to speak at any moment. What on earth was that, Nobita wondered. Just then a colleague came into the rest room. Nobita hurriedly rolled back the sleeves. It couldn’t be the Heike’s grudge, he thought.

   He returned to his studio apartment around eight, took off his shirt, and looked at the boil. It didn’t look like a human face. Instead, the “eyes” and the “mouth” were just tiny dots. He was relieved. He thought it would soon get cured. He switched on the television and began to eat a convenience store box dinner and drink beer. The TV was broadcasting a horror drama, “Human Chair” written by Ranpo Edogawa, a mystery writer. When he was absorbed in the grotesque program, he heard someone calling his name. He was frightened and looked around, but no one was there. He thought he misheard the sounds from the TV and continued to watch the drama.

   “Nobita.”      

   It was not the TV sound.

   “Nobita!”

   The voice came from his upper arm. Nobita looked at it surprised. The eyes and the mouth of the boil were wide open.

   “At last you’ve noticed me,” the boil said.

   Nobita was so bewildered that he couldn’t speak.

   “What a chicken! I won’t bite you.”

   “What in the world are you?”

   “I am Honorable Boil. I want to drink beer.”

   “Can you, can you speak?”

   “You’ve just hear me. I want to drink beer.”

   “Beer?”

   “Yes. You’ve been drinking beer quite a while.”

   Nobita thought he was hallucinating, but the boil’s mouth was moving as it spoke.

“How can you drink beer with such a small mouth?” Nobita said.

“What an idiot! Through a straw, of course.”

Nobita found a straw, put it into a beer glass, and plugged the top end of the straw with his finger. The straw held beer inside it. Then, he put it in the boil’s mouth and released the finger-plug, letting the beer flow into the mouth.

“Good,” the boil said. “You know, the first sip of beer always tastes wonderful.”

“How can a boil like you appreciate the taste of beer?” Nobita said.

“Because I am a boil, don’t insult me. I have a palate as delicate as you. Give me some more.”

As Nobita was feeding beer to the boil, he thought that it was insolent but that talking with it was more amusing than “Human Chair.”

“Give me that boiled fish,” the boil said.

“Can you eat fish?”

“Of course, I can eat anything you eat.”

Nobita cut the fish into small pieces with chopsticks and fed some to the boil. The boil chewed the fish and drank a lot of beer. Soon its face gradually turned red. It burped twice and went to sleep. Nobita thought he had to go and see a dermatologist first thing in the morning.

Around 9 o’clock the next morning, he called Inukai Dermatologist Hospital. A woman answered the phone and Nobita talked about the queer boil. She did not believe him and went to the dermatologist. Soon the doctor himself picked up the phone.

“This is Dr. Inukai. I’ve just heard about the boil. Are you serious? Is it true that the boil talks?”

“Yes, I’m serious. It drinks beer, too.”

“Unbelievable. All right. I’ll examine the boil. Please come as soon as possible.”

“Thank you. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

Nobita then called his company.

“This is Nobita Sega speaking. I’m sorry I’ll be late because I have to go to the hospital. Yes, I think I’ve caught a summer cold.”

Inukai Dermatologist Hospital was situated near Nagoya Station. When Nobita’s name was called, he entered the doctor’s office. Dr. Inukai had a reddish face with some grey hair. Since both of his chins drooped, he looked like a bulldog. Nobita sat on a chair and showed his arm to the doctor. The boil’s eyes and mouth were closed. lt looked as if it were sleeping. Dr. Inukai looked at the boil carefully.

“I don’t see anything special about this. It looks like a human face as you say, but the eyes and the mouth as you call them are just dents.”

“No, it actually eats and likes to drink beer.”

“Really? How does it drink beer?”

“With a straw.”

“OK, then. Let it drink beer right now. Baba-san, fetch me a can of beer from the fridge and a straw, too,” the dermatologist said to a nurse.

Baba went out of the office with a sideways glance at the boil.

“Be quiet!” the boil woke up and said. “Don’t interfere with my sleep, you idiots.”

Dr. Inukai was dumbfounded.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Didn’t I tell you? It speaks,” Nobita said.

“How do you like that! This is an epoch-making discovery. I’ll have to report this in the next dermatologists’ meeting,” Dr. Inukai said.

After a while, Baba returned.

“Doctor, a can of beer and a straw,” she said and put them on the table. He took out a smartphone from his pocket.

“I’d like to record how the boil drinks beer to report in the meeting. Is it all right with you?” he said.

“Yes, of course.”

“Wait a moment,” the boil said. “Don’t you know portrait rights? Are you going to record me without my consent?”

“How can a wretched boil have such rights? Doctor, please go ahead,” Nobita said.

“Thank you. This is going to a big surprise for all the dermatologists in the world,” Dr. Inukai said and aimed the smartphone at the boil.

“I won’t drink beer in any case,” the boil said.

Nobita opened the can and put the straw in it, put some beer in the tube, and brought it to the boil’s mouth, but it closed its mouth and eyes. It looked like an ordinary boil. Nobita could not tell where the mouth or eyes were.

“Come on. Open your mouth. Here’s beer,” Nobita said, but no mouth appeared.

“Oh, it looks like it’s impossible to open the mouth. I’m afraid I’ll have to give up recording,” Dr. Inukai said and put the smartphone on the table. That instant, the boil opened one of its eyes and said, “Serves you right.”

“Doctor, please help me. Isn’t there any way to cure this evil boil?”

“I understand how you feel, but I can’t cure it. I don’t think there’s any dermatologist in the world that can cure it. Of course, I can give you antibacterial drugs or cut the whole boil out of your arm, but I’m not sure what will happen next. I suggest you should wait and see.”

Disappointed, Nobita headed for his company in Sakae. He took a subway at Nagoya Station and found no empty seat. He stood by the door and looked at the priority seat for the aged and disabled. A gangster-looking young man was sitting in it, with his long legs wide open, clad in white suit, wearing a kipper tie, a huge finger ring, and white patent shoes. He was absorbed in his smartphone. When the subway arrived at Fushimi Station, a white-haired old man with a walking stick in his hand got on the train. He hobbled and stood in front of the red-tied young man. He stood with his left hand resting on the stick while his right hand holding onto a passenger pole. The red-tied man glanced at him but resumed playing with his smartphone.

“Hey, you, petty underling, can’t you see the old man in front of you?” the boil said in a high tone.

Every passenger around the red-tied man was surprised. Nobita wondered how the boil could look at the red-tied man through a long sleeved shirt. Did the boil possess a special vision power? The man in a red-tie looked up from the gadget and looked around.

“Why don’t you give up your seat, Dumbhead?” the boil said.

The red-tied man and the people around him looked at Nobita, who kept staring at the window with a poker face.

“Stand up, young man,” the boil said in an even higher voice.

“Who’s pulling my leg?” the red-tied man said and stood up irritated.

“Dear old man, please sit down,” the boil said.

“Thank you,” he said and sat down.

The young man looked around with his eyes wide open. Nobita almost burst into laughter but kept himself from doing so. Soon the subway arrived at Sakae Station and Nobita got off the train. He had a better opinion of the boil, which, to his relief, spoke out loud what he wanted to say.

 

Nobita reached his company around 10:30. The development department was on the eighth floor. After apologizing to the chief for his delay, he set to work.

After a while, Shizuka Genji, a young woman working for the department, went to the copy machine and began to make copies. She had entered the company two years before. She was a slender beautiful girl with long hair that fell on her shoulders, full cheeks, long eyelashes, and sexy lips that charmed every man. The male workers talked about her during almost every break and lunch time. Every man wanted to win her. On the Valentine day Shizuka gave a piece of chocolate to every male worker in the department, so nobody knew who she really liked.

Nobita thought he was out of the race, because he was a fat short not-so-good-looking man. Moreover, whenever he met a beautiful woman face to face, he felt too shy to say what he wanted to say. He won in the kendo tournament, but he thought he was a failure in the tournament to win Shizuka.

“Nobita,” the boil said.

“Speak in a small voice. They’ll hear you,” Nobita said.

“All right . Look at the woman at the copy machine. She is pretty, isn’t she?”

“I know. She is Shizuka,” Nobita said.

“She glanced at you while making copies. She likes you, I’m sure,” the boil said.

“Come on.”

“You love her, don’t you?”

“Yes, but....”

“She is your type. Ask her for a date.”

“I want to, but….”

“What are you mumbling all the while?” Ukai, who sat next to Nobita said.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Nobita said.

Nobita stood up and went out of the room to the corridor.

“Shut up while I’m working,” Nobita said to the boil.

“You mean I should not breathe?”

“Yes, if you don’t breathe, I’ll be much relieved,” Nobita said.

“What a fool? You and I are one flesh. You are I, and I am you.”

“You are a great annoyance. Get lost.”

“I won’t. I will stick with you like a leech forever.”

Nobita thought if the boil drank sake, he would go to sleep. He went out of the company building, went to a convenience store, and bought a bottle of sake. Returning to the building, he entered the restroom, rolled up his shirt sleeve, and let the boil drink sake. The boil loved sake. He drank a lot turning his face red, and fell asleep.

The restroom door opened and the department chief entered. He smelled sake and saw Nobita holding a sake pack.

“Alcohol is prohibited while working, you know,” he said.

“I’m not dr…. Oh, I’m sorry,” Nobita said.

Nobita exited the toilet, and walked toward the development department room, irritated and angry at the boil.

“Damned boil. Drop dead,” he said.

Since the boil slept the whole afternoon, he was able to work without being interrupted by it. Around seven o’clock, he finished the day’s work and walked to the elevator. While he was waiting, the boil woke up.

“Ahhhhh…. I’ve had a nice sleep,” the boil said.

The elevator stopped and the door opened. When Nobita was about to enter, Shizuka came rushing up and slipped into it just before the door closed. Inside the elevator were only Nobita and Shizuka. Nobita was embarrassed. He thought he had to speak to her, but couldn’t think of any appropriate topic. His heart beat.

“Mr. Sega, you were late this morning, weren’t you?” Shizuka said.

“Oh, yes. Well, I’ve caught a cold,” Nobita said.

“A summer cold? Then you must have a sore throat,” she said.

“Ah, yes.”

Shizuka opened her bag and took out a tiny box, opened it, and picked up a few pieces of wrapped candy.

“Here’re some candy for your sore throat.”

She extended her hand to Nobita, when suddenly a high pitched voice sounded.

“This is the chance. The ball’s at your feet,” the boil said.

“I beg your pardon,” she said.

 “I love you. I want to marry you, say that,” the boil said.

“Did you say that, Mr. Sega?” she said.

“No, I didn’t, but my partner did.”

“Your partner?”

Just then the elevator stopped at the third floor and a middle-aged woman stepped into the elevator. At that instant, Nobita got out of it. And the door closed.

“You damn boil. Shame on you!” Nobita said as he climbed down the stairs.

“What are you talking about? I’ve just said what you want to say to her. You should thank me for my kindness, Chicken,” the boil said.

“What? You’ve ruined everything. Shizuka must have been disgusted with me.”

“I’m disgusted with you,” the boil said.

 

Around eight o’clock that evening, Nobita started his personal computer and googled the combination of the words: boil, cure, pimple, dermatology. There were about 2,000 hits. He checked each of them one by one and came to a dermatologist’s site. It read:

“You should avoid eating fatty, spicy, and sweet food to prevent boils. Drink a lot water and egest toxins and waist product. Be careful about your diet. Proper nutrition is important.”

   Nobita thought the boil would perish if it didn’t get enough nutrition.

   “What a fool! I take nutrition from your body. I will live as long as you take nutrition,” the boil said.

Hearing the boil’s words, Nobita thought of fasting, and googled the words: fasting, boil, tumor, cure, Nagoya. Again he hit about 2,000 sites. As he was checking each site carefully, he came across a site which read:

“Our starvation diet methods will cure any kind of tumor from cancers to boils. Sotoku-ji Temple. Chief priest Shingyo.”

Nobita called the temple and talked about his boil.

“It will take three or four days to cure boils. We will begin treating your boil tomorrow if it is convenient for you,” Priest Shingyo said.

Nobita thought if the boil was cured within three days, he didn’t have to be absent from his company next Monday because it fell on a national holiday.

“I will visit you around ten tomorrow,” Nobita said.

“All right. I’m looking forward to seeing you. Please do not eat breakfast tomorrow morning. You may drink tea or water, though. Also, gadgets like iPhones and iPads are prohibited since peace of mind is important during the starvation diet period. Reading books are allowed.

“You, idiot! Don’t you know you will starve before I starve? But, I don’t care. Do as you like, my Master,” the boil said.

Sotoku-ji Temple was in Kiyosu City, about 20 minutes’ drive from Nagoya. Entering the old gate, Nobita saw two giant gingko trees. When he arrived at the main building, Priest Shingyo welcomed and guided him to the starvation diet hall. Nobita showed the boil to him.

“It really looks like a human face, like a face of a sake drinker. I’m sure I can cure it in three days,” Shingyo said.

“Hey, don’t underestimate me. I won’t let you cure me,” the boil said.

“How challenging! But I wonder how long you can survive to say such a thing,” Shingyo said.

“What an insolent priest!” the boil said.

“Are you sure you can cure it in three days?” Nobita said.

“Yes, I am. When I was studying methods for starvation diet in China, I helped my teacher cure the boil which rose on a man’s shoulder. Leave it to me,” Shingyo said.

Nobita changed into white clothes and started the starvation diet. There were eight other patients. The seven people wanted to cure tumors or lose weight, but one intended to cure cancer his doctor gave up as hopeless.

Nobita ate half a bowl of rice gruel and drank water for lunch and a bowl of vegetable soup for supper. He became hungry expectedly.

“Nobita, can’t you give me some food?” the boil said feebly.

“Suffering from hunger, aren’t you?” Nobita said.

“YOU are, not me,” the boil said.

The next day Nobita drank vegetable soup twice, around ten in the morning and four in the afternoon. He had nothing to do all day except watching videos recommended by the temple or reading Chinese gothic novels he had brought with him. Strolling around the temple garden was allowed, but he was too hungry to take a walk. The boil became quieter and quieter, and whenever it opened its mouth, it said, “Give me some food.” Its face became sick, its eyes as dull as those of a dead fish, and its mouth sloppily half open. Nobita thought that was the very time to fight with the boil: which would give up first, him or the boil.

On the third day Nobita became so feeble he could not walk. All he could do was just lie down. Only boiled water was served for breakfast around ten o’clock.

Priest Shingyo came to him at three o’clock in the afternoon.

“How’s the boil?” he said.

“I think it’s almost starving to death,” Nobita said.

“Oh, Priest…. Give me….some food…,” the boil whispered in a dim voice.

Shingyo poked the boil’s cheek with a chopstick.

“Don’t…do…that,” the boil said.

Despite the boil’s protest, Shingyo pushed and plucked its cheek. The boil could not resist, but was at the mercy of the priest. It could not even keep its mouth closed. Shingyo thrust the chopstick into the boil’s mouth and moved it in a circle motion. The mouth stretched and shrank up and down, left and right as the priest moved the chopstick.

“Good,” Shingyo said. “It’s time for the convalescent diet.”

“Oh, at last,” Nobita said.

“Not you, you must continue fasting, but the boil can resume eating.”

First, Shingyo fed the boil some rice gruel through a straw. As the boil took the gruel, it gradually recovered. Its face color was restored. It began to open its eyes and move its mouth smoothly.

“OK, I’ve had….enough gruel. Give me some…fish and meat,” the boil said.

“No, no. Fish and meat will be served last. You must follow the convalescent diet order. What you can take now is only vegetable soup.”

Shingyo told Jisho, one of his disciples, to fetch vegetable soup. Jisho left the room and soon came back with a large tray on which were a number of small bowls of soup. Each bowl had a label such as: radish, spinach, carrot, burdock root, Chinese leaves, cabbage, garlic, leek, perilla, oriental melon, tomato, green onion.

“All right, then, drink this first,” Shingyo said and fed the boil with radish soup through a straw.

“Can you guess what soup this is?” Shingyo said to the boil.

“It’s raddish, isn’t it?” the boil said.

“Yes, you’re right. Then how about this?” Shingyo let the boil drink spinach, carrot, burdock root and other vegetable soup one after another. Each time the boil drank the soup, it answered correctly which kind of vegetable it had drank. Shingyo praised the boil for the correct answer saying, “That’s right,” “Yes, you’re correct,” or “Exactly,” and continued to feed the boil different kinds of vegetable soup. After Shingyo fed the boil about 15 different soup, he stopped feeding it.

“Hey, why did you stop? I can drink more,” the boil said.

“This is the limit. Immediately after the starvation diet, you should not drink or eat much. It is bad for your health. That’s all for today,” Shingyo said.

“I’m hungry. Give me some more.”

Shingyo told Jisho to put away all the soup bowls and left the room.

Around ten the next morning, Jinsho brought a tray of soup bowls to the boil accompanied by Shingyo. The bowls contained various vegetable soup such as: onion, pumpkin, bean sprout, mushroom, parsley, chrysanthemum leaves, potato, bean, pea, azuki bean, lettuce, celery, black bean. Shingyo told Jisho to feed the soup one by one as he had the previous day. The boil drank the soup with relish.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED